This is where we are (a poem)

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One day they’re up at 11, the next day it’s 3 then it’s 7

There is no rhyme there is no reason

I can’t tell you why, it’s only a season

“My head hurts, my feet hurt” “Where are my teeth?”

“I don’t want to do that just leave me be”

They may say “Thank you” and sometimes “please”

They are grumpy, they are sweet

they can be defensive without any need

At times I get frustrated I will admit

But this is where we are, you see

there’s no going back with this disease

My heart changes when I lay them down to sleep

I get the privilege to hear them retreat

In prayer they come awake like their old self divine

Their shell might be weak but their spirits alive

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Ooh, ooh, ooh, pick me!

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In the year King Uzziah died… In the season when I felt like everything of mine, the most important things to me, what I cared about and all my desires, died, I saw the Lord sitting on His throne He was high and lifted up and His train filled the temple.  I realized how powerful and mighty God was and it wasn’t all about me.  I realized that He wasn’t just on earth and dealing with my problems, He was above all and over all and working details out in my life that I couldn’t see and working details out in my friends and families lives.  He was caring for people all over the world.  I recognized in that moment that He is bigger than everything that involves me and even the entire world.  In fact the Word shows that God is so big, majestic and awesome that even His robe’s train fills the heavenly temple.  Above Him stood the seraphim…and they cried to each other “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory”.  The foundations shook and the house was filled with smoke.  Then I said “Woe is me, For I am undone and ruined, because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of people of unclean lips, for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.   When I begin to meditate on God and how big He is and how glorious He is, then everything falls into perspective.  I cry “holy, holy, holy are you Lord”, I say “I am a person with unclean lips and I live in a world of people with unclean lips”.  No person can compare to the Holiest of Holy’s.  When I look at His holiness I see how frail and human I am.  Only He is holy.

Then one of the seraphim’s brought a live coal and touched my mouth and said “behold this has touched your lips, your iniquity and guilt are taken away and your sin is completely atoned for and forgiven”.  Lord touch the coal to my lips, my heart, my soul, cleanse me and make me clean.  He says that I am clean by the blood of the Lamb, I am saved already but my lips need to be touched with coal.  But that can’t be good enough, I want my whole body, inside and out, touched with coal and my sin, my flesh, my selfishness burned out.  But the Lord lets me know that sometimes I just need Him to purify my mouth, what goes in and especially what comes out.  What you say flows from what is in your heart (Luke 6:45).  What is in my heart comes out through my mouth, so yes my mouth needs to be touched with a holy coal.  When Jesus washed the disciples feet, Peter said don’t wash my feet.  Jesus said “If I don’t wash you then you can have nothing to do with me”.  Peter said “not just my feet, wash my hands and my head”.   “You have already bathed (you are already saved) you don’t need to be washed, you just need your feet cleaned”.  I agree with you Peter, burn all of me.   But Jesus says no, just your lips.  Ok Lord, touch my lips with your holy coal, clean me daily.

Then God says He has a job and he needs something done. Isaiah says  Send me.  After the death of things thought important, after seeing God for who He really is. After falling on my face and saying I am undone and unclean, God sending His coal to touch my lips and He says you are clean but sometimes what comes out of your mouth isn’t.  I say burn me up with your fire.  God says just your mouth needs to be purified.  After all this the Lord says Who can I send?  By now I am ready and I say like Arnold Horshack from the 70’s sitcom “Welcome Back Kotter” with arm straight up “ooh, ooh, ooh, pick me, I’ll go, let me do it”.  When we see things in the right perspective, God as the most important, we see life in the span of eternity, we see Him as Holy, then we say “I am unclean”.  He doesn’t say “yup, you are right, you are dung” or poop, but He says you are clean just your lips need to be purified.  I love this passage.  God doesn’t say “clean up then I will take care of you”, He doesn’t say “you need to get your act together”.  What He does say is “here let me help you, let me clean and purify your lips”.  See, I always think I have to do better, love better, work harder but He says “let me”.  Nothing wrong with being a hard worker or pushing yourself to be better but when we do it all in our own strength we get exhausted and we think it is all about us.  We end up with headaches, or heart problems or diseases.  I have found when I sit in my quiet place and say “Holy, holy, holy are you God almighty” then I realize that He is not asking me to do it all on my own.  He is saying “let me do this for you, let me love through you, let me cleanse you”.  We as frail humans, try to do everything in our own strength but He doesn’t ask us to, He does it for us if we let go and let Him.  When I put God in His rightful place then I relax and let Him do what He needs to do, in me.  Then I am anxious to go where He leads and do what He wants.  I realize it is not about me.  If I mess up it doesn’t matter, if I do great, in my eyes, it doesn’t matter, because it’s not about me, it all about Him.  I can relax and trust Him if I “do good” or “do bad”.  This is His show.  I don’t need to stress over my accomplishments I need to relish in His.  When I get out of the way, by resting in Him, then I am free to say, Lord send me, let me do what you need.  Lord, let me go, you love people through me.  You oh Lord are holy, I rest in you, do you need something?  “ooh, ooh, ooh, send me!”

Peace booties

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I find the armor of God fascinating.  We want to treat Ephesians 6 and the armor as things only certain people use or we use every once in awhile.  People who fight literal demons, they need the armor, not me.  In January my family joined our church and a lot of people in a 21 day Daniel fast.  My daughters children’s pastor asked the kids to say the Lord’s prayer and to put on the armor of God daily.  We did this every day with my girlie for 21 days and then continued it since then.  I began to meditate on the armor and what it means to me.  I am a caregiver.  Both parents have a form of dementia.  My dad has Alzheimer and it is progressing.  It can be exhausting.  I was talking with my sister about daily trying to walk in peace and the Lord dropped into my spirit an image of hospital booties, the kind a nurse or surgeon would put on.  They would just slip on top of my shoes.  Oh, so I put on the shoes of peace no matter what I am doing or dealing with.  Sometimes I am dealing with the medical type of issues, sometimes I am trying to calm situations down, sometimes I am having to run after him or my 4 year old, sometimes I am cooking, sometimes I am cleaning.  Whatever I am doing I must put on the shoes or booties of peace.  A lot of days I have to fight for peace.  See how I brought that around?  We have to fight to have the armor of God on daily in every situation.  This is our fight, to on purpose, put on the armor.  Every day we have to fight to put on the breast plate of righteousness or to live right on purpose.  Every day we have to fight to put on and keep on, the belt of truth, not to listen to lies.  Every day we have to pick up the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.  We have to fight to keep reading it and not be sidetracked by work, social media, TV, friends or whatever tries to trip us up and get us not to get into the Word.  Every day we have to choose to take up the shield of faith, to have faith in God and in His Word no matter what is thrown at us, spears of sickness, spears of lack and all the other things that we think about and have to fight against.  We have to trust the helmet of salvation to protect our minds and to get us to eternity.  We have to fight to have peace.  How do we fight to have peace?  Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV) says “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You”.  That is a fight to keep our minds on Jesus Christ and to trust in Him in the middle of our crazy, distraction filled days.  But He says if you do this, then He will keep you in peace.  I don’t have to say, “ok, Genelle be peaceful now” and boom, I am at peace.  No that doesn’t work, I have to keep putting my mind on Jesus.  I have to think about Him and His goodness, I have to talk to Him, or play worship music.  Another way to fight to have peace is to as 1 Corinthians 14:4 says “edify yourself”.  People talk about you need to have “me time”  when you care for so many, but I say I need more Holy Spirit time.  “He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself” 1 Corinthians 14:4a.  Edify means to lift up.  It comes from a Latin word which means to erect a house.  Think about it, if you edify yourself it is like you are building your house, you are making yourself stronger.  I try to spend quiet time with worship music and do stretches, I even buy essential oils that help create calm but nothing can cause peace, like the presence of God.  It is time for us to fight to keep peace in our homes, jobs, relationships.  What type of shoes are you wearing, tennis shoes because you are so busy running here or there, or boxing boots because you are in a battle all the time?  Don’t forget to put on your peace booties, just pull them right on top of your stilettos and in every situation and let the Lord keep you in perfect peace.