I have to admit something. I have a problem, when I feel out of control I take control of my hair. I will cut it or dye it. I feel like I need to go to an AA meeting “Hello, my name is Genelle and i’m addicted to control.” So this past week I’ve felt a little out of control with some areas of life. I feel like I’ve been on this roller coaster a bit too long and the Lord is at the controls saying “one more time, put your hands in the air”.
When I was young I loved rides. I was in Germany in my 20’s and one time I went to a carnival. My girl friend and I planned on riding all the rides. I was a spit fire and wanted to see how many rides i could get by talking sweet and batting my eyes. We got on the tea cups and the guy must have thought he was going to show us, he spun us around probably 30 times while others were getting on. When the ride started we were already dizzy and sick. I had never been sick from a ride. I thought I was going to lose it. I wanted off that ride. When we got off the ride we had to lay down in the grass for about 30 min before we could even sit up. That’s kind of what i feel life is sometimes. I want to say, like the old Randy Stonehill song “Stop the World i want to get off”. I want to say “Lord, can we move on to the next thing, please? Can we get off this ride?”
Back to feeling out of control. I can’t control my parents health, even though i try. I can’t control our government, they are putting controls on me. I have a 3 year old, enough said. I am married, enough said. I struggle with emotional eating and I’m not happy with that. Our finances are a mess, I don’t like that. So what do i do? In the middle of the night i get up and cut my hair. I know that is not really a sane move but that’s what I do. And it’s happened more than once. One time I cut my hair to 1 inch all around my head. Crazy i know. I haven’t done this in a long time but there it is. And what is crazy I don’t think I am the only one who does this. Maybe its not hair. Maybe it’s yelling at the cars on the road, over eating, taking prescription pills, yelling at the children. How about sleeping more than normal or working more hours than needed. What do you do when you feel out of control and your life is on its own roller coaster?
There’s a movie After Earth. Its a Will Smith movie about a father and a son. The son is a very fearful kid because of some things that happened when he was young. He and his dad get ship wrecked. This fearful kid has to save the day. He leaves and the dad can only talk to him through his ear piece. When the son becomes afraid or overwhelmed the dad says “Cadet, take a knee”. The boy kneels down and takes a moment. It helps him to get out of his fear and his emotions. There are few times when the boy is so frightened that his dad has to holler “Cadet, take a knee!”. There are times when I feel the Lord holler at me, “Genelle, take a knee”. What a great mantra, mantra meaning to repeat a word, formula or phrase, often a truism. I can’t think of a better truism to repeat then “take a knee” and remember whom you serve, remember your God, remember He is in control. “Take a knee” and breathe out fear and breathe in faith. “Take a knee” and remember whom your trust is in, not yourself or your abilities but in your Savior, Jesus. “Take a knee”. I need to holler at myself more “Genelle, take a knee”, stop fretting, stop trying to control, turn it all over and rest in the Lord. I need to take a knee and leave my hair alone.