Take a knee

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I have to admit something. I have a problem, when I feel out of control I take control of my hair.  I will cut it or dye it.   I feel like I need to go to an AA meeting “Hello, my name is Genelle and i’m addicted to control.” So this past week I’ve felt a little out of control with some areas of life. I feel like I’ve been on this roller coaster a bit too long and the Lord is at the controls saying “one more time, put your hands in the air”.

When I was young I loved rides. I was in Germany in my 20’s and one time I went to a carnival. My girl friend and I planned on riding all the rides.  I was a spit fire and wanted to see how many rides i could get by talking sweet and batting my eyes.  We got on the tea cups and the guy must have thought he was going to show us, he spun us around probably 30 times while others were getting on.  When the ride started we were already dizzy and sick. I had never been sick from a  ride.  I thought I was going to lose it.  I wanted off that ride.  When we got off the ride we had to lay down in the grass for about 30 min before we could even sit up. That’s kind of what i feel life is sometimes. I want to say, like the old Randy Stonehill song “Stop the World i want to get off”.  I want to say “Lord, can we move on to the next thing, please?  Can we get off this ride?”

Back to feeling out of control.  I can’t control my parents health, even though i try.  I can’t control our government, they are putting controls on me.  I have a 3 year old, enough said.  I am married, enough said.  I struggle with emotional eating and I’m not happy with that. Our finances are a mess, I don’t like that.  So what do i do?  In the middle of the night i get up and cut my hair. I know that is not really a sane move but that’s what I do. And it’s happened more than once.  One time I cut my hair to 1 inch all around my head. Crazy i know. I haven’t done this in a long time but there it is. And what is crazy I don’t think I am the only one who does this. Maybe its not hair. Maybe it’s yelling at the cars on the road, over eating, taking prescription pills, yelling at the children.  How about sleeping more than normal or working more hours than needed.  What do you do when you feel out of control and your life is on its own roller coaster?

There’s a  movie After Earth.  Its a Will Smith movie about a father and a son. The son is a very fearful kid because of some things that happened when he was young.  He and his dad get ship wrecked. This fearful kid has to save the day. He leaves and the dad can only talk to him through his ear piece. When the son becomes afraid or overwhelmed the dad says “Cadet, take a knee”. The boy kneels down and takes a moment.  It helps him to get out of his fear and his emotions.  There are few times when the boy is so frightened that his dad has to holler “Cadet, take a knee!”. There are times when I feel the Lord holler at me, “Genelle, take a knee”.   What a great mantra, mantra meaning to repeat a word, formula or phrase, often a truism. I can’t think of a better truism to repeat then “take a knee” and remember whom you serve, remember your God, remember He is in control.  “Take a knee” and breathe out fear and breathe in faith.  “Take a knee” and remember whom your trust is in, not yourself or your abilities but in your Savior, Jesus.  “Take a knee”.  I need to holler at myself more “Genelle, take a knee”, stop fretting, stop trying to control, turn it all over and rest in the Lord.  I need to take a knee and leave my hair alone.

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Peace Weaver or Shield Maiden

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I like a good adventure movie. I raised 3 boys so I’ve seen my share.  I like fighting movies, as long as the good guy wins. I hate it when there is not a good ending. I want to see the hero come in to save the day.
I started watching some Viking movies and programs and I found that I love, as gory as it, the all or nothing, blood all over their faces, fights.  I love when they run in, looking like they will lose and die, in total abandonment, swords swinging and somehow they walk away. I love the rawness of their fights.  It looks “for real”.

I kept trying to figure out why i like them. I realized there are a couple reasons. One is we all want a cause we want to fight for something that we feel is valuable. And we want to know someone is fighting with us and for us.
I also think that kind of fighting was the way the Bible heroes fought. Could you imagine being in battle with David or Joshua? Gory! Cutting heads off, blood splattering, dodging swords, adrenalin and blood pounding in your ears. They were fighters not stand by the side saying “go away i can’t take any more”.
In the Viking programs they bring their shields together to stand under when the arrows are being shot at them.  That speaks volumes to me.  If we as Christians would stand with our brother and sisters when they are going through trials its like we have just brought our shields together to cover our fellow Christian.  Can you hear the clang of the shields?  Now i see how if one can put a thousand to flight then two can put ten thousand to flight.  If we stood shield to shields nothing could get through.

So I guess my title should be “I love Viking fights”.  I could stop there.  I researched a little about the women, the women who fight are called Shield Maidens.  They are not afraid to get in the fight and defend their families & towns.  If you look it up you will find conflicting information, if there were actually Shield Maidens fighting.  But lets just assume it is true for a moment.  Lets just suppose there are women out there willing to fight for what they believe and die for a cause.  I don’t find that hard to believe.  Maybe Esther didn’t fight but she was very courageous and could have been killed for her cause.  Deborah not only fought but led the army in battle.  And there are many other women, modern day, 50 years ago, 100 years ago and etc that would fight for what is right. I don’t find this hard to believe.  There are those women willing to fight.

In studying this I found during the same time, there were women called Peace Weavers.  It sounds nice doesn’t it, weavers of peace, it sounds so nice and polite.  These were the women, the daughters of one King who gave in marriage to another King or his son to cause peace to reign in the country.  One King decides that instead of fighting  he will just give his daughter, his precious daughter to another man.  And hopefully it will not only cause peace but maybe that family will be nice to his daughter.  The article i read “Women in the Early English Society” by Kathleen Herbert said that it rarely worked.  So much of the time sons were fighting and killing their uncles.

What kind of warrior am i?   I would love to be proficient in boxing or MMA, but i am not talking physically, i’m talking spiritually.  Am i the kind of woman who compromises to keep peace?  Do i “marry” and am i intimate with the things of this world?  Like gossiping with the coworkers so they don’t gossip about you.  Or heading to the club with the kids at school so they don’t think you are a Christian and make fun of you.  Or lying just to save face.  Or am i a Shield Maiden, ready to defend those around me, to cover with my shield those who are in need.   To slice off the head of the enemy and say “no, i won’t cave in”. To battle for those less fortunate.  To be covered in the enemy’s blood.  To have battle scars not defensive scars but offensive.  To fight and to defend unto possible death.  Which one are you?  Are you the polite Peace Weaver, compromising to keep peace or a Shield Maiden standing for what you believe and fighting when needed?